My mother always told me, if you live long enough, you will suffer.
As a child, I did not understand why this was possible.
I would ask myself, ” if God loved me, why would he allow me to experience pain?”
His response was loud and clear: ” because it’s in the valley, you grow.”
This is relevant whether you serve a Christian God or not, as all of us grow during life’s trials and tribulations.
If you are currently going through a time of uncertainty, I’m sure you feel confused, defeated, and overwhelmed.
While I cannot take the pain away, I can provide you with inspiration.
Here are a few things that you should find useful:
Don’t forget to focus on the good things that are surrounding you. The truth of the matter is, no matter what you are going through, you can always find reasons to smile. You might be going through a breakup. You may have lost your dream job. You may be fighting a legal battle that seems unfair and unjust. But you woke up this morning with breath in your lungs and food on your table. It’s important to remember that some people didn’t. And while I’m certain that you would rather be anywhere then where you are right now, if you can find the energy to enjoy the good things that you are going through, you will have less energy to invest in the bad.
Use this time to see who your real friends are. It’s true what your mama told you. True friends will be there during the good and the bad. Don’t assume that just because you’ve known somebody for a long time, or because a person is in your family, that they are your true friends. If whatever you are going through right now is causing some level of tension or adversity within your relationships, this is a strong indication that that person isn’t who they try to build themselves up to be in your life. Trust yourself and your instincts. If something is telling you that the person in your life is not going to support you at this time, listen to it. And dive deep within the relationships of people who will support you nonetheless.
Understand that all change isn’t bad and that this moment, too, shall pass. In our darkest moment, you likely feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Experiences that may not have normally overwhelmed us, now feel like a mountain on our shoulders that just refuse to provide us relief. It’s hard to recognize that this is only a season. It is hard to recognize that whatever is going on is only an experience in our life, when the magnitude of the pain feels like it represents our entire life.
But stay encouraged. Nothing stays the same forever. And this moment, however challenging it may seem, will pass. I have found it helpful to keep a log of difficult experiences in my life. When adversity arises, I simply reflect on all the moments that I previously overcame other experiences and encounter relief and joy in knowing that this moment too, shall pass. I invite you to do the same.
You can do more with less. I know you might feel like whatever is being taken away from you, will be the cause of your downfall. And, I cannot assure you that it will not. But what I can do is remind you that everything happens with purpose. And if whatever it is that you are struggling with, is being tested and maybe taken away, you will get on the other side of it. I know it seems impossible now, but please refer to my previous perspective. You’ve gotten through difficult things before. You will get through this as well.
Take Control of your own destiny. While you cannot control how people respond to you, you can control how you respond to them. Don’t let someone else’s ignorance, imperfections, selfishness, and emotional turmoil, be the end of you. Learn how to do what you need to do, when you need to do it, irrespective of your circumstances. The more you take control of your own life, the less power others have to take control of you.
We all go through seasons of pain and adversity. If you find yourself reading this now, chances are it’s your season. The good news is,you don’t have to go through it alone. If you would like support from one of our therapists to support you during this difficult time, please schedule your 15 minute consultation now.
